Punjabi Jokes, HiHi . . . . . pinglish Options

[Waraich]

i talk punjabi my self but this paindo punjabi kills me (found evry thing online)



Ik amli

oye, tuhanu joke sanaunde a,

Ik munda, sadak te tureya janda si
(a guy waz walkin down the road)

Tan, Ik amli cycle te chadiaya janda,
(and a crackhead was commin up on a bike)

Oh amli, munde vich vaj janda,
(the crackhead runs into the walking guy)

Oh dowen buri taran dig jande a.
(they both fall down to the ground)

Jadon dowen uth painde a ,te amli mundey nu kehnda,
(when they both get up, the crackhead says..)

"O kuj nehi hoya, mari moti raggarr aye hai..."
(oh! its okay, you are not that hurt.. its just minor bruses)

"jah jake parsad churrah, te mandir jake matha teki tera bachaa ho gia."
(now go, go to the temple and thank god your life was saved!, go on)

Mundey nu bada gussa charda, te kehnda, "Keda bachaa ho gia, saliyaa nale tan mere sattan laa tiyan te nalle kehinda bachaa ho giya."
(the guy is pretty mad, "what you talking about!!!, first you run into me and cause me injuries and now you are saying that I should go to the temple and thank god!!!")

Amli kehnda, "oye meri gal mun tera bachaa ho giya tere vich mein cycle maar dhitta."
(the crackhead goes, "belive me man, you should be thankful that I hit you with my cycle")

Munda kehnda, "oh kyon."
(the guy says, "and why is that!!.")

Oh kamleyaa, Pichon ta mein Truck chalaounda ayaan, cycle ta mein ithonk he chukeya!!!!"
("my good man, i had just gotton on to the bike, I was driving a truck before that!!!!")

[Waraich]

The funniest pinglish I've encountered so far has been
"TUSSI TAKE CARE KAREYO JII" overheard one punjabi lady saying it to another.

I have also listened the humurous language "pinglish" from a punjabi lady.She asked me for the super market in such a way-hello ki tusi punjab to ho, I said yes I am and then she said ki tuhanu pata hai ki "BIG SHOPPA" kithe hundiya han.After that I couldn`t stop my laugh for a long time.

[Waraich]

Banta Taye Mai Mono

Gall Kuch Es Tarah Hai Mittro Kee Banta Taye Mai Mono dovain ekko school vich pardaye hundaye see. Ek Vaar kee hoeya kee school da vadda officer aa gaya school taye usnay keha kee mein kuch bacheyaan da test laina hai. Layo Ji karlo gall. Usany Bantaye taye Mai Mono nu chun leya..
Pehlaan aayi vaari Bantaye Dee.. Banta is bery intelligent, paraku, able to pass without maaring NAKAL(cheating) but Mai Mono bechaari rabb dee maari.. nakal maran naal pass hon waali
Banta Singh Come In,,,Andar Aaaja Mittraa..
Education Officer: Banta singh bharat da pehla pradanmantri kaun see.
Banta Singh: Ji Pandit JawaharLaal Nehru

Doosra Sawal: DIanosaur da origin kado hoeya. Yaani Kee dainasour kado hoond vich aayea.
Banta Singh: Es baaraye hajaye scientist Khoj Kar Rahaye Han.

Teesra Sawal: Bharat Aaazad Kado Hoeya, When did India Get it's independence.
Banta Singh: Ghardaye dassdaye ta hundaye see kee struggle 1935 to chall rahi hai par 1947 vich jaakaye Hoeya.

Bery Good Banta, Ju Are Great. Ju May GO and Sent Mai Mono Inside...

And Now Mai Mono is very scared. She asks Banta what did the Officer asked him and he said nuttin hard. First thing he asked you the answer is Jawaharlal Nehru,, second answer Scietists hajaye khoj kar rahaye han taye teesra jawaab kee ghardaye dassdaye hundaye see kee struggle ta 1935 to chall rahi hai par jaakaye 1947 vich hoeya.
Chalo Ji, Mai Mono gayi andar..

Officer pehla sawaal puchda hai.
Tera Naam Kee Hai.
Mai Mono : Mera Naam Hai Pandit Jawaharlaal Nehru..

Hain!!!!! Officer kehanda ek banda hai ja janaani jo bandeyaan varga naam hai.. Oh kehanda Tera Sex Kee Hai
Male ya Female

Mai Mono Kehandi : Es baaraye scientist hajaye khoj kar rahaye han. pakka pata nahi lagga

Teesra sawal.
Officer: tera janam kado hoeya
Mai Mono: Ghardaye ( mom and dad) dasdaye hundaye see kee struggle ta 1935 to chall rahi hai par jaakaye 1947 vich hoeya. )

AAYEA SAMHAJ MERA CHUTKALA MITTRO
sat sari a kaal sareyaan nu

[Waraich]

Moti Janani

Ik admi di janani bahut moti [mera matlab motto] si. Ik din o station te vajan tolan vali machine te charhi.

Machine de vich sikka paya te ode vicho ik cheekh di awaj ayi te card bahar aya:
"Khotte de puttro - ik ik karke charho"




this one is totaly funny
told my dad like like 15 minuts ago and hes still laufing
hehe

This post has been edited by Waraich: Aug 12 2005, 03:49 PM

[Waraich]

A little boy who wanted $100 very badly prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA," they decided to send it to President Clinton. The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. Mr. Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5, and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to God which read "Dear God, Thank you for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C., and as usual, those crooks deducted $95."

[Waraich]

ok yaroo eik mera vee joke sunn lavo!!!!!!
Eik warr eik railway station te eik choori eik gentelmann nal larr rahi hundi hai, te galan vich uss nu kehndi hai, aaa jharrooo(broom) dekhyea thalle de ke delhi bhejj duu, thori duur eik admi khara hunda aa ke uss aurat nu kehnda behn ji thore jahe teele (stcks that broom maid out of )mere thalle de devo main jallandhar jana ......lol

[Waraich]

Chutkale Vadhiya ne!
Phattae Chak diyo Punjabio!!

IT Terminologies vs. Hindi movie names

Pentium II and Pentium I - Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan
Ctrl C+ Ctrl V - Duplicate
Ctrl + Alt + Del - Aakhri Raasta
An employee who frequently changes companies - Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi
An employee who is ready to sign a bond - Dulhan Banu Mai Teri
An employee without signing bond - Kachche Dhage
An employee who works sincerely - Dil Se
An employee who is ready to leave his job - Doli Saja Ke Rakhna
An employee who left the job without informing - Nau Do Gyarah
Project Manager - Jallad
Project Leader - Khal Nayak
Super User Password - Gupt
Bill Gates - Humse Badhkar Kaun
Microsoft Corporation - Ustadon Ke Ustad
Internet - Door Gagan Ki Chhav Mein
Operator vs computer - Main Khiladi Tu Anadi
Windows 95 - Bade Dilwala
Dos & Windows - Do Raaste
Undelete - Naya Jivan
F1 - Guide
Hard disk vs Floppy Disk - Gharwali Baharwali
Mail Merge in MS Word - Sangam
Server - God father
A system infected by virus - Pyar to Hona Hi Tha
A computer for the virus - Piya Ka Ghar
Anti virus Kit - Soldier

[Waraich]

Ik munda kuri nu puchchda hai" tera naa ki hai"?
kuri kehandi "meena"
Kuri puchchdi "tera naa"?
munda kehanda "kameena"
kuri kehandi" lagdey ta nahin"
munda "kol bitha ke vekh lao"

[Waraich]

A man passes a pet shop, hears a birdie singing. the man goes in, buys, shopkeeper is about to wrap the cage and man says"ik minut.. birdie has only one leg."--- the birdie said" oye..tenu gan vali chahi di ya nacchan vali?

[Ali_9mm]

Ik munda kuri nu puchchda hai" tera naa ki hai"?
kuri kehandi "meena"
Kuri puchchdi "tera naa"?
munda kehanda "kameena"
kuri kehandi" lagdey ta nahin"
munda "kol bitha ke vekh lao"

sounds like 789

[Ali_9mm]

could you dubble check everything before posting

some of em i cant even understand......not that i donno punjabi

its written weird

[Waraich]

hmmmm

This post has been edited by Waraich: Aug 13 2005, 02:35 AM

[Waraich]

The Punjab Police Department, the FBI, and the CIA were each trying to prove it was the best law enforcement agency. So the UN released a rabbit into the woods and gave each agency a chance to do its stuff.
The CIA placed animal informants in and around the forest and questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, the CIA concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI sent its people into the woods. After two weeks with no leads, the agents burned the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. There were no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
Then the Punjab Police sent its people in. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling, "OK! OK! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

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Ik din kuch punjabi gabroo kothe te chad ke galee di andi-jandi kudia nu ched de paye san.Jadoo ik garm mijaj di kudi de naal unnahe ne a harkat kiti te oh gusse vich bole "chappal la ke utey aawa"?
Eha sune ke ik gabroo bolya "koei gal nahi chappal payee-payee ajaao.Utey keda paath ho raya hai".

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A BEARDED BENGALI AND SARDARJI GOT INTO AN ARGUEMENT OVER WHICH STATE PRODUCED MORE FREEDOM FIGHTERS, BENGAL OR PUNJAB. THEY DECIDED FOR EACH PATRIOT NAMED FROM HIS STATE HE WOULD BE ENTITLED TO PLUCK OUT A HAIR FROM THE OTHERS BEARD. THE BENGALI OPENED THE OFFENSIVE WITH "KHUDI RAM BOSE" AND TWEAKED A HAIR FROM THE SARDAR JI'S BEARD. THE SARDARJI RESPONDED WITH "BHAGAT SINGH" AND PLUCKED ONE HAIR OUT OF THE BENGALIS BEARD. AND SO IT WENT ON PAINFULLY WITH THE BENGALI HAVING A ENDLESS LIST. THE SARDARJI CAME TO THE END OF HIS LIST. AND WITH GREAT FORCE SHOUTED ""JALIANWALA BAGH"" AND YANKED OF THE BENGALIS BEARD OFF HIS CHIN.

[Waraich]

In USA drivers on the highways -well freeways are dreaded with the patrols checking the speed limits. Here is a joke

A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders.

But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a hand painted sign that said RADAR TRAP AHEAD. A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the
radar trap with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket at his feet, full of change.



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THE IRISH WAY TO SHOP

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to
leave. "Excuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?" "Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."



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A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.


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A few thoughts on marriage

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman

The best way to get most husbands to do something
is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
-- Ann Bancroft

Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely
equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
-- Bill Cosby

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut
afterwards.
--Benjamin Franklin

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

[SONIYEH]

The funniest pinglish I've encountered so far has been
"TUSSI TAKE CARE KAREYO JII" overheard one punjabi lady saying it to another.

wat the hell??!!!!

thats hilarious!

[asad_000003]

too long and not funny~! >_<

[mizz_sweety]

to long to read em all..
tussu tke care kariyo ji..daz funny lol

[Waraich]

too long and not funny~! >_<

whatever

to long to read em all..
tussu tke care kariyo ji..daz funny lol

cool

[Smiley]

The best way to get most husbands to do something
is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

waraich shud i try this one on PR.....?

[Waraich]

yes yes
or u can just beat him up
ill help u
im always there for bhabi

[Smiley]

^
oh thankoo sweety.....its nice to know i've got u as my choti supporter heehee....

lekin l lub my PR why would i want to beat him up....?

lol

[Waraich]

Becouse hes a ghanda bacha

[Smiley]

^
no i think ur mistaking him for bunny wunny...oops i only call him that....

ahem...pretend u didnt hear that.....

[insha_ji]

lol funny joks thanks

[Waraich]

cool

[SilentEyes]

inn'an ichoon kuch tay kafi wadya nay

[Imran-Saami]

Apni post # 6 te zara fer ghaur kar lo... aiwaeen kisay mod de hathhay charh gaii taan ban ho jaoo gi, kurray tu...

joke changay aa...

[Waraich]

cool

[PakiRebel]

Apni post # 6 te zara fer ghaur kar lo... aiwaeen kisay mod de hathhay charh gaii taan ban ho jaoo gi, kurray tu...

joke changay aa...

Nahin imaan naal beraa Haasaa ayaaa...
LOL...Changey majaak ney Waraichaa...Chak key rakh.

[danial]

Ik munda kuri nu puchchda hai" tera naa ki hai"?
kuri kehandi "meena"
Kuri puchchdi "tera naa"?
munda kehanda "kameena"
kuri kehandi" lagdey ta nahin"
munda "kol bitha ke vekh lao"
ahahahha i like this oneee